Locked, But Only For Now

“You there?”
You say cheerfully, with the tongued happy face.
I can see the dotdotdots in my mind.
“Somewhat….” I reply, as if I’d been busy….
Busy dealing with a broken mind.

I know what’s expected.
I know what’s at stake.
I know that it’s been too long of a wait,
For me to repair and leave this place.

I told one of my closest,
I feel like I’m locked,
And somehow I lost the key.
I don’t even have to ask why the clouds look stormy.

I’m glad she agreed to help me tomorrow,
So I can cope even slightly better the day after.
Once I start working again,
Maybe the charade’s tear can be patched.

I want to believe that she wants to help me.
It’s so hard when I feel like this,
Walking, wasting, waiting,
Faulty parts heading to the scrapyard.
I get to go out soon. And try to repair a bit with friends
My wonderful sister, who’s also counseled me.

…….
…………………..

I stopped this because of a simple text,
My mom calling me up to talk again.
In that short time, we hugged a few times
And it helped me heal a bit.

Enough to smile, at least part way,
And look forward to coming days,
Now, as I get ready for the night ahead,
A bit less of me feels like I should be dead.